Can't Miss Picks
Record: 0-3
- Ron Shanney
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Last year Matt the Greek went on a once in a lifetime gambling streak. Click here to read
what I wrote about it before and after he went three for three with his Super Bowl picks last
year.
I am calling him Matt the Greek for these pages not because he is Greek, because he is
not, and not merely because all Greeks like gambling more than they like fried cheese. I
am calling him Matt the Greek in honor of Jimmy “the Greek” Snyder. Snyder was a former
NBC football analyst that was famous for picking games and making a living off of
gambling. Jimmy the Greek eventually was fired from NBC because he said something
about blacks being superior athletes from their slave breeding and because they have an
extra hamstring or something stupid like that. Matt the Greek is in honor of Jimmy Snyder’
s picking prowess. As far as I know, Matt does not believe blacks have an extra hamstring
or anything along those lines. Although he did tell me that you should always bet on the
Chinese guy in a chess match or a Kung Fu competition.
I will post his picks as long as he is winning and as long as I am not to lazy to do so.
Again, gambling is illegal in most states. These picks are posted for entertainment
purposes only (please stop laughing).
As Ron Shanney says, “Gambling is a tax for people that are bad at math.”
Sept. 28th, FE picks (no word from Matt the Greek
yet):
Matt the Greek is not answering his phone so I do not have his picks as of now. However,
here are mine (please note that I have never finished a football season up):
- Michigan -17 over Northwestern (from Spike Mencer's advice)
- 2 team 6 point tease: Maryland plus 24 over Rutgers and Under 53 in that same
game.
- 2 team 6 point tease: Cal plus 12.5 over Oregan and Under 79 in that same game.
Why is Cal getting points in this game?
- 2 team 6 point tease: Pats minus 1.5 over Cincinnati and Over 47.5 in that same
game.
I am taking two under bets in two of my teases which I hate doing. You are hardly ever
safe with an under bet. In addition, it is like betting on a boring football game. The
announcers will go on and on about how a low scoring game is exciting because of how
good the defenses are doing. But nobody likes watching a game where both teams
punters play a pivotal role. Nobody except the punters' family and people with an under
bet!
In addition, betting the over is the best bet in sports. You basically get to cheer for both
teams offenses. And if the defense does so well that they get a pick for a touchdown, or
score off a fumble, or even force a turnover deep in the other teams end, then great.
Plus you have the potential to win your bet early in the game, and that is truly amazing.
Getting the over early in the game is like getting a blowjob at the beginning of the night.
Once that happens, you just sit back, relax, and watch the world turn with a big smile on
your face.
Conversely, there is nothing worse then losing an under bet early. No chance for a
miraculous cover because they are not going to take points off the board. Nope, the
game just served you a spoonful of shit and you have to take a bight. It is kind of like
being told that she is saving herself for marriage before a first date and will only kiss
before she gets married.
Sept. 26th, Matt the Greek Goes 0-3
Call it the farteaters jinx. Last year when I bragged about Barnaroo's picking abilities, he
went on a horrible losing streak. Have I done it to Matt the Greek? He says he made it
back in the afternoon with a three team parlay. I believe him, but I wouldn't expect my FE
readers (Alex, Spike, and PDA) to believe it. Regardless, I will post his picks on Friday.
But it seems that once I post picks they are jinxed. I am going to go out on a limb and pick
a two team parlay with Maryland plus 16.5 over Rutgers and the under in that same game
at Under 46.5.
Sept. 18th
From Matt:
“Here are 3 I like:
Bears/Cowboys under 42
Packers/Chargers under 43.5
6 point teaser (2 team):
Bills at New England—Bills +22.5
49ers at Pittsburgh---Under 44.5
I probably like the teaser best.”
Record: 0-3