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Prologue
7/27/07
I held off on this one for a long time, because it’s such a great story that words may
not do it justice. I spent a good amount of time with it, and tried to give every event
it's due attention. This one night had enough shit to fill five or six strong mini-tales. I
don’t know why we didn’t re-tell it more often. Maybe because everyone was so
drunk. I came late and sober, so I remember most of it pretty clearly.
In my opinion it was our finest hour. A few things happened that were unbelievable
from a sheer physics standpoint, especially the ending. I wouldn’t have believed it if I
hadn’t seen it—literally standing a foot away.
I’m sentimental with this one. It was not only my first night as a member of your
hallowed circle, but also the first steps of Newman’s wondrous dance atop the
happiest memories of my life; a dance which I hope, for everyone’s sake, lasts until
we are all reunited again, farting together in some crowded elevator plummeting
straight down into Satan’s living room.
I’m broke, so consider this a wedding gift. It was either this or a Tantric sex manual.
You may still get that.
Hope you like it, and congratulations again.
May your sons be coordinated and your daughters bitchy.
Always and forever,
John E. Fever (Collins)
---------------Cunt Castle Part 1----------